5 things I did not like about the CIAA

Although I had a great time during the yearly CIAA tournament, there is always someone or something trying to damper the mood.  Below is a list of 5 things I did not like about the tournament. Enjoy!

1)      The Drunk girl at the V101.9 Day Party on Friday

Okay, a lot of us have had our tipsy day but this was ridiculous.  Here is the lowdown.  I arrived at Suite on Friday for the V Day Party. I immediately notice   girl drunk out of her mind and fast asleep sitting in the corner alone.  (from this point on she will be referred to as “Drunkie”).  I thought to myself “Wow, it is only 4pm, they must be having a ball in there.”  I did not think about Drunkie anymore until I had to go outside to make sure that my friend and partner Scotty was able to get into the party.  He thinks he is VIP everywhere he goes so I had to make sure he was able to get in without paying (HAH!).  When I passed her this time, she had moved from the chair in the corner to basically slumped over in the floor.  I saw that she was breathing so I just kept it moving.  After about an hour or so of partying, the music was turned down and they announced a name and asked them to come to the front immediately.  I was already in the VIP section behind the DJ booth so I immediately found out that they were trying to get someone to get the drunken girl out of there.  Within 5 minutes, another party stopping announcement was made.  Only this time they were giving another name.  I realized immediately either they cannot understand her or she has forgotten the name of who she had come with.  This went an additional 2 times, each time with an addition of a new name similar to the last ones.  On the fifth time, the music was actually stopped.  Chirl Girl took over the mic and literally made everyone look beside them and figure out the person that was needed.  And added to the announcement was the fact that the person they were looking for was the mother of Drunkie in the corner.  Yes you just read that correctly.  Someone had come do a day party with their mama and was passed out drunk in the corner.  Within a few minutes, security is moving me aside to escort someone out. She was mad as h(## and it appeared as if they were holding her back from fighting.  The only words that she repeated as she left were “I am gonna beat her a#%.”  Granted, this may seem funny, but it was ridiculous.  I don’t know if I was mad at her or at the party throwers for the continous stops.  It seemed as though every time the party was back to full blast, the announcement served as an interruption.  I remember partying in New York a few years back with some friends of mine and my girlfriend was in that same condition.  It was New Years Eve.  Security made me take her to the bathroom to get herself together.  Then, after she was taking up a stall, they advised me that she had to leave.  Not only did she have to leave, she had to be able to walk out or they were going to call the police.  We literally had to hold her up and get her out of there.  I think we all have had an embarrassing moment.  But the difference here is that she was not the problem of the party goer, she was our problem.  Her drunkenness did not serve as a party stopping event.  I was with her just like the mom was with her daughter.  However, I did not feel the need to announce that I was about to fight her outside.  I just made sure she was safe and that we got her home.  There is always going to be a Drunkie at the party, it may even be you or me.  So I am officially making some rules.

Official Rules For Being Or Accompanying A Drunkie

1)      Please go to the party with someone who has your back.  Make sure that you check on the person that you attend the party with at least every 30 minutes. 

2)      Write down the name of the person you are attending the party with.  Write it in a permanent marker on your hand.  Be careful not to write it on the inside of your hand as it may get faded if you use your hand to cover your mouth for reasons I won’t go into.

3)      If you can make it to the corner, do your best to make it to the door.  Small gestures like these can be the difference in a compassionate crowd and a blood thirsty crowd. 

4)      Carry a big black scarf to hide your face.  It will save you from risking everyone recognizing you as the official party stopper of the day. 

5)      Threaten the Drunkie as needed. If the Drunkie is starting to show a pattern, threats are in order.  However, threaten the Drunkie before you leave home to attend the party. Threats are technically illegal and you don’t need 500 people testifying that they heard you screaming “Ima beat her a$$” as you were being escorted out. 

2)      Parking Downtown

Can you say “hot mess?”  Parking was crazy.  The police were shutting down streets, lots……it was crazy. It was as if they were preparing for a round of violence.  I must say that the CIAA tournament is one of the largest annual events held in the city that has little to zero incidents of any criminal activity.  I know of no actual reported crimes reported which is amazing considering the number of people and events that are here during that time.  It is interesting how the news will jump on the report of a club shooting or violent incident yet you here nothing about peaceful gatherings in the city.  The epicenter taking center stage in Charlotte only added to the traffic woes as everyone was trying to be in the heart of center city. Next year, I am going to check the bus and light rail system schedules so I don’t have to deal with the parking drama. 

3)      CI

This year, a memo went out advising promoters and nightclub owners not to use the term “CIAA” as that is the official name for that Conference.  I believe the only club that was able to use the name was club 935 as they had the rights to the “Official CIAA Parties.”  This caused everyone (and their grandmamma) to use “CI” instead of ‘CIAA”. Normally, we shorten names when we are familiar with someone.  Angie replaces Angela, Bob replaces Robert and so on .  I am curious as to why everyone felt so familiar and comfortable with the CIAA to shorten their name?  If people are already in Charlotte during the week that the tournament is held, why is it necessary to use any reference to the conference?  I don’t think the use of “CI” is going to make any more people come to your event.  Most of the events are geared towards Black people during that week as the CIAA is an HBCU conference.  The CIAA has a great history athletically as well as educationally.  As Black people, can we respect that greatness and that symbol of achievement for our people and leave their name alone?  I think you can pull off a party that weekend without calling it ‘CI” “TI” “Me Oh My” or whatever. Just promote your party and have confidence in your ability to bring out the masses.

4)      Greedy Nightclubs and Restaurants

Okay maybe it is the promoter in me but I hate a greedy nightclub owner.  They hike up rentals astronomically which requires the promoters to charge a fortune just trying to make their money back.  They require bar guarantees but do not offer kick back when you supersede the required amount.  They stand over your door counting your money in preparation for jacking up their prices the following year.  Drink prices are ballooned.  Well let me take a step back on that one.  It is already a known fact that Charlotte nightclubs take drink prices up on any night that they are having an urban based event because they know Black folks are crazy enough to pay for it.  It blows my mind.  You can go to a party spot on any other night and it is no cover charge along with 1 2 3 drink specials.  Then, you can go back when it is rented out or catering to an urban crowd and Hennessey has gone from $6.00 to $8.00. For the CIAA you can expect $10.  Nightclub and restaurant owners, especially the ones uptown make a small fortune during the week of the CIAA Tournament.  I wonder if any of them are giving back any portions to the CIAA Tournament or to any HBCU’s?

5)      Fake Folks

I will have to intentionally shorten this piece because I could write all day.  This one goes out to the folks in my age group.  We are all grown folk.  “Keeping It Real” should be a lifestyle by now because we have been through all of the teen drama, 20’s experiences, and 30’s growth.  Most of us have been to college, had a few jobs, attended more than one church, been involved in the community, and the list goes on.  So if you see me and don’t quite remember where u know me from, it is okay to ask me.  Y’all know I keep it real.  I will ask you in a heartbeat, “what is your name? “where do I know you from?” I hope no one is taking offense.  Interpret me asking you for the reminder as me actually wanting to know.  I do recognize you but it could have been from so many places.  I appreciate you remembering me! So I want you to remind me instead of walking away and I am left trying to think of or not caring about what your name is or where we have crossed paths.  I saw so many dumbfounded looks on the faces of folks who were pretending to know people, it was ridiculous.  Just ask please!!!