1. Mr. Jheri Curl Man
As sung to the tune of New Edition's Mr. Telephone Man.  "Mr. Jheri Curl Man, there's something wrong wit yo hair, black men should do better and get dat mess out yo hair!"  Black people we must abolish the curl, in general, but especially in our male species.  If you have a male holdin' on to his curl like the LTD song, remember the most poignant line in the song is, "Holdin' on, is very hard to do when the love is gone, and that's no lie."  Well you should be singin to them, "Holdin on, to that damn curl is bad, cause the 80's gone, and that's no liiiiiiieeeeeeee!" 

Now I know u r asking, pray tell what is The Mad Afrikan ranting about now?  Well here in the Raleigh/Durham area we have a local civic leader who is oft on the local news sporting a scurvy curl and that's not his only crime, can u say BABY HAIR?!  Like Tracey Morgan said once in a bad movie, "You know why they call it baby hair?, b/c its for babies!"  Exactly Tracey, exactly!  So we have two hair faux pas read: crimes against the black state being committed by dude.  I want to take him seriously, seriously I do, but I can't get past the JC or the BH, try as I might , it just ain't happening.  The words, they come out intelligent enough, he seems to be an intelligent man but once I see all that baby haired curl juice, its a rap! 

On a national level, we have brothers out here rockin perms.  If u not Michael Jackson (r.i.p), Prince, or Morris  you need to remove, get rid of, 86, put the kibosh on, dead it, cease and desist, don't do it , don't do it, (insert whatever you need to here to take that accursed process out of your wig!)  You look like a pimp, and even though somehow they have become heroes, which they are not, do you think black folk can take you seriously when you can't even sing?  Hank Ballard made a song that's still relevant today, this song came out in the sixties, "How you gonna get respect, when you haven't cut your process yet?"  More poignant words were never spoken in regard to you shaving hour conk off, for good!

White folk laughing at you, black folk embarrassed by you all because of your indignant refusal to let that ridiculous hair don't go!  Its the 21st century black cave man, get rid of it.  Black people its not their fault, its ours.  We eat Sunday dinner w/ them.  Go to church w/ them. Get laughed at by other people when we are seen in public with them and yet we continue to let them misrepresent our family and our race w/ these noback hairdos b/c they don't deserve to EVER be throwbacks or come backs, they should not be applauded, they should be maligned at every turn.  We need to pick at these caricatures until they stop once and for all w/ the slimy slimeys and they Ultra permz.

2. Ricky Martin
This was two things, 1. NOT A SHOCK TO ANYONE ALIVE ON PLANET EARTH WHO STILL KNOWS WHO LA VIDA LOCO IS, and 2. Irrelevant beyond belief.  Man u had your 15 minutes, now we just want Jay-No to go away just like you did.  She can't act and she can't sing, just fade to black and peace b with you.

3. Teabaggers
I love it when closet racists and classists think it is safe to come out of their anal cavities and spew hatred en masse.  There is an insane racist fringe in this country, the whole, "THEY'RE STEALING DA WHITE MAN'S AMERICA!"  What you dumb asses don't realize or refuse to acknowledge is that you have to get mad at other white people, your anger is directed at the wrong folk.  Look at the racial makeup of the Congress and the House since, well, since the 20th century.  White men have dominated the ranks of both these unhallowed halls of injustice and it is your white brethren who have allowed all the jobs to be sold over seas.  It is your white brethren who relax the tax laws so that businesses can come to your state and eventually to your home town, pay you minimum wage and not contribute to the tax base of your town at all.  So u can make a few more trips to WalMart but not too many.  It is your white brethren who allowed rampant illegal immigration via the law and turning their heads to make way for the top 4% to fill their coffers.  CAPITALISM, root word capital as in capitalize, dumb asses.  And finally b/c you don't deserve any more of my brain power, you can blame a whole mess of good white folk for electing the first black president.  Yes, many of your white brothers and sisters were so fed up w/ the last white dude that they went totally off the reservation and picked a dark horse, pun intended.  You are wasting your time, the Congress and House are still majority white, so whilst you think you are out in D.C. spewing your hatred that you are screaming against a black President, elected for the white people, of the white people and by the white people.  Your countrymen were the only ones who could have pulled that off so my suggestion, pull your skin off and go crazy off camera, or move to Colorodo or some other cold place where you will see the temperature in single digits as well as the number of black folk you may bump into.

4. THE DEMOCRATS AND THE REPUBLICANS

I'll K.I.S.S.  The truth is never something that you have to be convinced of, 9 times out of 10.  It seems our buddies the Dems and the Reps take turns duping the nation and as a collective we are dumb enough to buy what they sell year end and year out.  The Dems are doing what they always do, they get control and go softer than wet baby powder.  The Republicans take full advantage by promoting their ineptitude and weakness and after a few years they come through like gang busters and seize the reins of power once again except they go for 8-12 year stints.  The problem now is that the pool of candidates is so weak, I mean seriously Palin shouldn't be allowed to serioiusly consider a run for Dog Catcher and yet she was a friggin Vice Presidential candidate.  Wow.

I know I'm not finished w/ this topic by no means but I am a widdle sweepy and need some sleep for work tomorrow.  I look forward to the day when work will be getting up and sharing my thoughts w/ the world.

Goodnight,

The Mad Afrikan